Hello 2017… I’ve been waiting for you.

 

lessons learned

Just say it. Just do it. Stop chirping. Stop planning. Stop debating. Stop thinking and DO IT. Whatever ‘it’ is.

2016 has passed, and I can’t help but feel a camaraderie with all the memes, and Facebook jokes. I don’t know about you but 2016 was tough. Celebrity deaths, although sad, don’t really affect me too much. But, I did learn the meaning of grief when I lost one of my closest friends in a car accident. I watched people I love grieve for their lost loved ones. And, for the first time ever, this sunshine and rainbows woman faced depression, isolation, and darkness.

I bravely fell in love and trusted my heart to a man that I thought was worth it, but my heart was handed back to me shattered, and in millions of pieces. I discovered that promises were only as sincere as the people making them. I had friends that became foes, and watched agreements change without notice. I had to stand back and watch my child struggle with something that I couldn’t stop or control. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times this past year my knees hit the floor, or my arms embraced my steering wheel, when that one (or every) song came on. I humbled myself time and time again. I was forced to face the reality that I was broken and not in control.  I watched my hope-filled bubble pop- over and over again.

But.

and isn’t ‘but’ the most beautiful word in times of trial?

But, I had some pretty remarkable moments in 2016. It was a bittersweet year. I bought a great home, and was able to provide for myself and the two sweet children that give me the will to carry on. I took a few pretty great and not so great risks. I reconciled with friends and family. I saw my God, and I am still seeing Him, perform miracles for me. There were those that came along beside me to hold me up when I was too weak to carry on. I rang in the New Year with the two people closest to me (my little humans).

I stepped into 2017 a different woman, taking three life lessons with me. 

Lesson 1: Gratitude 

This year, I have decided that I will hold my daughters a little tighter. I will laugh a little louder and I will play a whole lot more. I will tell those I love them just what they mean to me.  I will run a few more miles, not to be skinnier or sexier but because I have these two legs that are capable of holding this body up. I am done being proud. I am done being right. I have no grudges to hold. I am through with being heard. All I want, the only resolution I have, is to embrace this life and the people in it. I am done with regrets, so I will love like I have never loved and I will fight for my people and I will fight for myself. I will forgive the unforgivable. I will dance even if I look like an idiot. I will be open to opening my heart again. Despite the heaviness of this past year, I will not be hardened. We only have one life. I want to live it. 

Lesson 2: Perseverance

Because here is what I learned in 2016… Life is finite, relationships are fragile, and things change no matter how badly you may want them to stay the same, and sometimes things stay the same despite how badly you want them to change. Control is an illusion. I accept that I am not in control. But (the beauty of ‘but’) if I am not in control, and it is an illusion, then I don’t have to let anyone or anything control me. Live in the moment to drink in the strength for the moments to come. 

Lesson 3: Hope

Therefore, I am going to walk, no run, through 2017, like a child on the playground. If I fall and scrape my knee, I will feel the pain, and then I will run again. I will hold nothing back. I will tell my people what they mean to me. I will say all that needs to be said. I will be open to hearing the hearts of others. I refuse to wait until someone dies to love them, or to be sorry, or to die to my selfish pride. I will do my best to mend relationships now, and love those that are toxic from a distance. I choose to forgive now. To run now. To eat healthy now, and most importantly to love myself now.

This is my advice to you, or really to myself…

Stop talking about ‘it’. Thinking about, Ignoring it. Feel the pain. Feel the joy. Laugh too loud. Cry to hard. Dance like a fool. Take this year by the hand, promise yourself to love it. Love it well. Love it deeply. Focus on the good in this life and the people you care about. Treat yourself and others with kindness, patience and respect. Take this year to LIVE and to LOVE.

Someone once told me that good was the enemy of great.

Go on now, have a GREAT year. Have a GREAT life. Hello 2017… WE’VE been waiting for you. 

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