“Decorating” is My Hobby

Decorating is a hobby I enjoy a lot, however it’s changed quite a bit since we added all these little people to our home. With all of the things that can and will happen when you’re raising little ones, I’ve come up with some sure fire strategies for decorating your home while keeping your sanity.

I highly recommend going with a “rustic” motif. By rustic I mean scratches, dings, gouges, missing paint, the more “rustic” the better. Even if you decide “rustic” isn’t for you, just be prepared to adopt it anyway when your kids decide to go Crayola chic all over your new white coffee table.   No matter what kids do to your home you can always claim that it’s just part of your rustic flare.

We recently moved to an open concept home and we were so excited for all of the togetherness it would encourage. This is a mistake. You don’t want open concept. You don’t need that much togetherness. Look for a closed concept house. Look for a house with more of a prison or mental hospital feel to it; if it comes with a padded room, even better.  Don’t worry, the padded room isn’t for the kids, it’s for you. The padding will muffle the sounds of screaming, crying and electronic toys, and if you add a wine fridge then you will basically have yourself your own slice of heaven. Maybe hide a bag of chocolates behind one of the cushions on the walls for extreme motherhood emergencies. I mean really, having your own padded room is so much more civilized than hiding in the pantry with your foot against the door while you shove Dove chocolates in your mouth. No, is that just me?

When you think of decorating, you often have to think of organizing.  Different bins for everything and color coded boxes for different toys and art items.  If you do this, kids will automatically organize and tidy all by themselves. It will be a no brainer, your life will become blissfully easy if you just know how to organize it.  I don’t have much else to say about this except…see image.

You may also want to invest in some new furniture. You see, regular furniture is for suckers at this stage of life. Invest in some plastic patio furniture…for inside. If you really want to streamline your life, this is the way to go. No more cleaning peanut butter off fabric and washing boogers from decorative pillows- just take it all outside and hose everything down at once. If you want to be really smart then have all of your floors made of poured concrete and install a central drain, then you can hose off the furniture and the floors at the same time. Heck, throw the kids in there too and bath time is done. Win. Win. Win. I’m thinking one of those giant rolling squeegees they use on tennis courts after it rains could come in really handy as well.

A friend recently asked me how I was going to “style” my coffee table. My style = no style. There is no styling of anything under five feet in height. My Christmas tree this year looked like a half naked lady because there were no ornaments on the lower third. If I thought it was possible that my kids might actually listen when I told them to “not touch”, then I might try it, but I’m not stupid. I’m smart enough to know that if I can keep a coffee table from being so sticky the remote control to the t.v. doesn’t get permanently affixed to it, then I’ve succeeded.

I hope you enjoy my “decorating” tips; I’d love to hear yours!

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2 Responses to “Decorating” is My Hobby

  1. Rachel
    Rachel February 25, 2016 at 8:53 am #

    This made me laugh out loud, down to the peanut butter on the couch. I am with you, we could be friends. 🙂

  2. Mary Kanowitz March 4, 2016 at 9:15 am #

    I love your Pinterest version of stair organization. This made my day. Hysterical and very practical.

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