The other day, my mind wandered (as it usually does). I started thinking about the reaction I would have if I again found myself with child… for the fifth time. This led me to create a list of signs. In my case, they all point to the conclusion that I am in no position to have more babies.
Maybe my list can help in your decision, as well. 😉
Then vs. Now
- In the past, when your mind wandered to the possibility of being pregnant, you were filled with joy, optimism, dreams of future nursery designs, happy tears, plots of how to excitingly surprise your hubby with the news, possible baby names, thinking about how your other children will be so happy and gentle butterflies. Now, with the thought of being pregnant, you instantly break out into a cold sweat. You feel like crying (and may actually tear up). Not with happy tears but with tears of sheer terror, fear and anguish. The thought of telling your husband of possible pregnancy makes you wonder how many other couples have divorced over the news of an impending child.
- In the past, you excitedly planned a shopping trip to buy a cute little baby outfit, just in case the test said yes. Now, faced with possible pregnancy, you google to see how many other parents have had to file bankruptcy due to too many mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, educations to fund and mouths to feed. Yes, I know I said that twice. Kids eat… a lot.
- In the past, you felt excited to tell your besties of another “honorary” niece or nephew coming into their world. Now, all you wonder is how long they will hate you if you are indeed pregnant. They cannot possibly throw another baby shower and continue to delay an all girls trip. When will you all be able to leave all the kids at home and not have to worry about pumping? Not drinking or having to check in on little babies all the time? How long will the silent treatment from your friends last??
- In the past, a modest sedan or small SUV was sufficient. Now you wonder just how much a 15-passenger van would cost. And whether you could still pull off being “cool mom” while driving one. No. The answer is no. You cannot be cool while driving a 15-passenger van.
- You might be done expanding your family if you find yourself locked in a bathroom for more than 2 hours during the day to find some solace (with little hands reaching under the door). Anything under 2 hours, you may still have capacity for more babies.
- No more babies if you look in the mirror at your naked body and can no longer remember what your breasts used to look like. “Have they always been this way?” *shrugs and walks away, unbothered*
- Does the mere thought of nursing your baby for 12 straight months make you want to crawl in your dark closet, and rock back and forth in the fetal position?
- You can’t remember a time without diapers. What year is this?
- The only positive thing you can think of about being pregnant is that you won’t have your period for a good 1 ½ years.
- You ask your oldest if they want another sibling. In the past, their response has always been an enthusiastic, “yes!” They now just shake their head in disbelief and disgust and walk away.
If 8 out of 10 of these rang true for you, maybe it’s time to just get a puppy.
Is a Mama Ever Ready?
In all seriousness, I relate in some ways to all of these and I still am not ready to say goodbye to smelling that newborn baby head again. I think I’m in that stage where you know you possibly can’t handle another, but you also think that you can’t possibly handle never being pregnant again. Man, motherhood does some crazy things to you!
I love all four of my children dearly. If I were blessed with another, I would know he or she was meant to be. But I think I’m done. I think. Yes, I am. Maybe.