I see you. You who share your wounds publicly. I see your vulnerability whether it’s with the hashtag or sharing part of your story. The courage I see in you inspires me. I admire your bravery and strength and applaud your attack against silence.
But I Can’t Go Public… Yet
To be honest, I’ve been frustrated with myself this week. Down on myself that I haven’t had the courage to share. Not even to post the hashtag and acknowledge it publicly. Those two words have stirred up a lot this week: memories, fear, questions.
Sometimes, however, I need to tell myself what I would tell others. I know there are others like me out there who have a #metoo story, but haven’t yet arrived at a place that feels safe enough to share. Those who are questioning their own courage, validity, or fault. Who may be fearful of not being believed. Again. Or who may even fear hurting others by breaking their silence.
You Are Not Alone
So to you, and to myself, I say: Healing is a journey and every step in healing is tremendously brave.
I say this because I know it doesn’t always feel brave. Know that it is. Your quaking voice, shaky knees or quivering chin doesn’t define bravery, but your action in stepping into healing is always, always courageous.
You are not alone.
I See You
I see you. You, who when you see #metoo and read the stories, your heart starts to race and memories flash, but you are not yet able to share. The struggle is real, it doesn’t make you weak.
I see you. You, who had the courage to tell, but weren’t believed. I’m so, so sorry. I know the wounds this causes and how this can become a giant hurdle in your healing. And I hope that you will have the courage to tell again. You deserve to be believed.
I see you. You, who are still convinced it was your fault and that you are dirty and tainted because of it. It wasn’t. Period. I also know that this piece is a struggle and that you may need to hear it millions of times and cry many angry tears before you believe it.
I’ll say it again for both of us: It wasn’t your fault. Not even a little. Any step in healing is brave. You are not weak. You deserve to be believed. It is not your fault.
#Metoo started as a public movement toward bringing to light the magnitude of a rampant problem.
However we, who publicly aren’t ready to share, can use it to propel us in taking the next step in healing. Let’s not deny what this has stirred in us and stuff it back where it came from. Let’s take a step into healing. It doesn’t matter how small or publicly silent the steps in healing, each step takes great courage.
Healing is a journey. Whatever step in the journey you are on, I applaud your bravery.