My son starts kindergarten in 16 days, 2 hours and 23 minutes. And I am heartbroken.
I know the veteran moms will think me silly, but I am really struggling with my baby being old enough to start school.
Little Boy, Big Steps
He is only going half days for kindergarten. I tell everyone that it is because I don’t think he can handle full days yet. And that is true.
He has always been with his nana while I work or with me. We do activities and groups and such, but never has he been dropped off somewhere and then picked up later.
The Rest of the Story
The other reason he is only going half days is because I am not ready for him to do full days yet, either. He is my first and my only and I am clinging.
He is not even 5 ½ yet!
Adding complexity is the fact that I was homeschooled for my entire school career.
Everything from completing the school registration packet (which felt like doing taxes—OMG!) and buying uniforms to asking how to navigate the parking lot is daunting. I feel like all of my questions are dumb. I’m sure some of these things are common knowledge, but I am clueless.
For example, his school has a well-orchestrated pick up and drop off procedure and I have visions of embarrassing myself by going in the wrong way or stopping and waiting somewhere I am not supposed to be. Just reading this gives me ulcers!
My lack of experience in the school arena is a little intimidating. I am not used to that. I am the person who is happy to prepare and present an hour-long presentation to a room full of people on short notice, but I am worried about school drop off/pickup. Something is wrong with this equation.
I am worrying over his ability to get along with the other kids and listen to his teacher and do what she says. He is good about those things when we are in other situations. But I know I will be sitting with my cell phone in hand, just waiting for the call from his teacher, saying he is having a major meltdown and I need to come get him.
If he is expelled from kindergarten, will that affect his college career?
This doesn’t even touch on all of the research and list downloading I have done, trying to make sure that he knows everything he is supposed to know for his level. And he does for the most part, but not everything.
Can you fail kindergarten?
My mother thinks I should homeschool him. I am not against homeschooling, but I don’t think that is the best option for us. He needs to be with other kids and learn to handle listening to others in authority.
My husband thinks he should go full days, which sends me into anxiety attacks and running for the Xanax. I am doing what I think is best, despite the outside pressures.
I know that everything will work out. My son can handle this and I have to trust that his teacher knows what she is doing. I know that I will have to calm down about this whole thing. And I probably will—right around his holiday break in December.
Until then, I will put a smile on my face and take deep breaths while my son takes another step toward growing up.