“When you are going through hell…
keep on going.”
Finding Solace in a Season of Unrest
Each and every one of us has seasons of turmoil.
The details of the sufferings are never the same; each trouble is unique to the individual bearing it. Often we forget that an emotional trauma is just as difficult—if not more so—than a physical one. For instance, during a heart attack there is a trauma. Perhaps, surgery and then maybe ICU. If the person survives, there may be days, weeks or months to recovery and the person may never be the same again.
Therefore, it is essential that we begin as a culture to give and receive grace and take the time to heal and recover from emotional traumas.
Counseling, water and exercise are all good places to begin, but this post is focused more on how to treat yourself and others during a trauma of the heart.
Moving Beyond a Trauma
How to handle life when you are walking through it broken, bruised and battered, and see no way out.
- Breathe and pray. Breathe and pray. If you have or are going through a tragedy—breathe. Sit down. Stare at the wall and breathe. Sometimes breathing is an accomplishment. Breathe.
- Lower your expectations of yourself. You do not need to be anything. If you had open heart surgery, you would give yourself time to come around. When going through a storm, remind yourself that you have had a mental, emotional, spiritual surgery and then give yourself time to recover.
- You don’t have to “feel” any certain way and you can be broken and laugh at the same time. One minute, you may be fine and another, a complete mess. This is part of the healing process. Cancer patients have “good” days and “bad” days. You may, too. This a season of authenticity. Just be you and find a way to be okay with that.
- Let go of what people think—share your heart with those who will guard it. Again, you just had surgery. It is important you confide in those who will nurse your brokenness, not the naysayers and all those people that tend to kick you when you are down.
When Someone You Love Is “Broken”
- There are times and places for negativity and encouragement, but sometimes it is important to show up carrying only empathy.
- Which brings me to SHOW UP. Don’t ask, just do. Bring a meal. Clean a house. Take your friend to a movie. Just show up. You are needed.
- Let go of expectations. When your friend has cancer and is in recovery, it is easy to give grace, but when your friend is struggling emotionally, it may be easy to forget that she needs that same grace.
Finally, never lose your faith in the bigger picture. Sometimes things suck simply because they suck.
If you have had an emotional heart attack. If your life is a mess. Or if you are walking around broken wondering each day how you made it through, I am so, so sorry for your pain and your struggle. I send to you love, hugs and empathy. In sincerity, I will not tell you that all will be well or any cliché line.
All I have to say is—look at you go! You made it another day.
